let it divide the light from the darkhorse
I am so glad I was at the Mama Javas open mic on Monday.

It's not very often that you get to see one person violate every one of your poetic precepts, in one half hour.



Arrive late enough to not only make an entrance, but to miss hearing what kind of poetry you are up against?? Check!

Bring a traveling entourage that consists only of your mom, just to project an awkward vibe from the very start? Check!

Give yourself an obnoxious stage name? Check!

Unfurl a gigantic banner displaying a graphics school dropout conceived logo? Check!

Undermine your own words, by reciting them over gimmicky music from your iPod? Check!

Unleash a non-stop barrage of well-worn cliches? Check!

Announce that you are in the process of ditching your obnoxious stage name, for a new stage name that promises to be even more obnoxious? Check!

Force people at the back of the room to begin giggling uncontrollably, as if they are trying in vain to be quiet during a church sermon? Check!

Allow the flimsy imagery of your writing to be upstaged by the vivid imagery of your tattoos? Check!

Confess that your ambition is to sell out your self-published chapbooks, not so you can get started on a new one, but so you can re-print those old ones with your updated stage name? Check!

Clear the room of half of the people who were hoping to hear some poetry? Check!

Manage to avoid stumbling onto one single line or phrase that resonates enough to be remembered the next day? Check!